I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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