accomplished twins. life is a go
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
