hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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