Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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