Sponge bath it is.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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