I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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