Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize