idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
