I seem to have left my pride at pride
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
