these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
