i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
