remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
