i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
