do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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