so explain again why im purple
no
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
