Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
