she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
