We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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