I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize