Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
