Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
