never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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