I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
