Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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