He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Be still, my beating vagina.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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