im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My ass is underappreciated
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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