I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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