this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
