Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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