dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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