I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
