oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
