I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
