Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
