i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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