i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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