gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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