how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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