jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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