I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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