so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
