Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
