eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can I color on your dick again?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize