turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
