Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
