And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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