i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The air was thick with penises
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
