Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
