Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
