Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
