"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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