dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
