covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
