Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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