gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
