Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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