an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize