We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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