haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
my liver is dry heaving
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
