This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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