Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
