curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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