I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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