My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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