her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I party with great urgency now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
