I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
