Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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