why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
